How I spent my time in Paris, mk 3

I gave a talk at a Paris lab and when they asked what I was doing that night, I replied that I was going to try to get tickets to the Opera that night because they were playing Rossini's Barber of Seville. The guys in the lab kinda looked at each other and then one of them said to get there very early because it would be sold out. It was sold out. But the guy at the ticket booth told me they have a policy that if people don't collect their tickets by 30 minutes before curtain call, those tickets go on sale. So I plonked myself down and waited two hours. I got a ticket for a mildly elevated seat towards the rear of the stalls. Was it worth the loss of time from my short life? HELL YEAH!!! The production was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. The sets were always folding around, being elevated and descending...it was like a giant dollhouse. The setting was interestingly presented as being in Moorish Spain. It was much different from the OA production I saw last year.

I did a bit of re-visiting the big museums that I'd either really enjoyed previously (Musee d'Orsay and Musee Rodin) or smaller places that had been shoved aside for the Big Deals - and hey, a Paris Big Deal is usually pretty big!

Queue outside the Musee d'Orsay. For future travellers, while it is shockingly long, it's mostly the security check and it actually moves quite fast.

The main hall

Behind one of the Musee d'Orsay's giant clocks.

Gardens of the Hotel Biron/Musee Rodin

The Thinker gets contemplated in return

Facade of the Musee Jacquemart-Andre (158 Blv Haussmann) - VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Sneaky photo of the Jacquemart-Andre Winter Garden. Photography is not allowed here.

The caves of the Wine Museum (Musee du Vin, 5 Square Charles Dickens). It smelt kinda musty but very interesting (only in French)!

Vive le vin!

The exhibits were broken up by displays of wax models making wine, selling wine, etc. Usually whenever I saw one it scared the crap out of me because I'd turn around and it'd be like a silent person was behind me. This guy looks like someone to me, a celebrity? Does it resemble anyone to anyone else?

Another thing I did to fill time was eating - duh! It was cherry season so you can imagine me just sitting around eating a bag of cherries during the afternoon! I also found it difficult to resist the smell of all those roasting chickens on Boulevard St. Antoine. I am pleased to report to Lydia that this time around, ingestion of a chicken and chicken-fat basted potatoes was achieved! I also did something I usually don't do and ate in cafes either very near or attached to museums. The Cafe du Musee is around the corner from the Musee Rodin...and I swear I ate rabbit at it during the Great European Trip 2004. In any case, I ate there again and had a HUGE salad. It gets quite busy because a lot of visitors to the Rodin eat there but it's still very good. The cafe at the Jacquemart-Andre, I had another salad that was pretty expensive (I think 16 euros? without tax!)...but it was sooooooooooooooooo good! I had the Tiepolo with smoked salmon and terrine of homard all served in the Jacquemart-Andre's former dining room. At Cafe Marly (in one of the wings of the Louvre) and had foie gras and sauternes to celebrate my happy day a few days early. Delicious in a beautiful setting overlooking the Louvre sculpture garden. *sigh* Num nums

Even more soon!

How I spent my time in Paris, mk 2

Pooey (amonst others) has always regarded Versailles as the ultimate European Palace. Hell, after it was built other European Royal Houses went and remodelled their own palaces after it. I can't believe it took me three tries to knock this tourist spot off my list. Luckily Alix came along so he did all the talking to people about what kind of tickets we needed and where to go.

And it sure is pretty.

The Hall of Mirrors

Pooey happy in the Hall of Mirrors

That's a real purdy view

So is this one

And this one!

Grand Trianon

Some of the garden at Petit Trianon

Unforch, Petit Trianon was closed so we couldn't seen Marie-Antoinette's favourite part of the estate. Overall, while I don't think I was as disappointed as Pooey (although she admitted she might be a bit palace-d out), I'm not kicking myself for waiting so long to go there. I think Pooey expected that given the size of the place, more of it would be open. As you can see, we were lucky enough that our cloudy morning transformed into a sparkling afternoon while we walked around the grounds from the main palace to Grand Trianon to Petit Trianon and back again. The map said walking to each part would take about twenty minutes each and we all thought *Well, we're young and healthy - let's do it!* But the walking doesn't take in photography stopping or lost getting time. In the end, walking around the huge grounds totally wore us out and we three fell asleep on the RER back to town before we continued the Great Shoe Hunt at Galeries Lafayette Montparnasse where we didn't find those shoes either (*sigh*). And then to add insult to injury, we fell asleep when we got back to the hotel room and lost an entire night's revelling potential!

I also helped Pooey realise her dream of climbing Notre Dame de Paris. Since I had already done this, I didn't take photos. That same day, there was a celebration of French baking going on in the Notre Dame parvis so the entire square have this WONDERFUL baking scent. It was the best! And since we were in the neighbourhood, Pooey and I went to Bertillon on Ile St. Louis to have some of what is considered the best ice cream in Paris. The tricky thing is that there are stores that claim to be selling Bertillon but which aren't Bertillon so we had to keep walking until we found the right one. I'm kicking myself for not taking a photo of the queue at the real store (which was long), and for not taking a photo of me with my cone featuring peach and nougat and honey flavours. This was semi-rectified when I went back another day for more and got green apple and cinnamon.

Nums!

Then I had to send Pooey back to London and I was alone again. But more adventures were had!

How I spent my time in Paris, mk 1

Cousin Alix noted that despite the fact that he's the one who's French, I probably know Paris city better than he does. This was reinforced by the fact that when he said *Let's meet at Madeleine*, I actually went to the church, whereas when we finally met up on the boulevard, he said he didn't know there was a church! And since this was my third visit, I've pretty much done all the usual touristy things like the Louvre, Musee d'Orsay, Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower etc etc. So how did I fill my time this time?

Well the first few days I was all alone. *sniff* This was reinforced most strikingly to me when I was having a quick dinner on my first Thursday when my glass of wine arrived before my dinner. Seated on the terasse...I pretty much had nothing to do except drink my wine and look at the other patrons. Not that there were many because it was quite late. This was when I thought I should take up smoking.

OH MY GAWD!!! Je ne fume jamais!!!! And I've never contemplated it either!!!

I did actually think that if I were a smoker (as the people around me were), then I'd have something to do other than sit there and drink by myself. Luckily the waiter came with my wonderful quiche and salade and I tucked in rather than lit up. I returned to my lovely (very) little room and took some night shots of from my balcony and collapsing.

Luckily, I had been set some tasks to complete in Paris before Pooey arrived to keep me company. This set off the Great Shoe Hunt. Pooey went to Barcelona and put a hole in the ballerines that we bought last time. Even I was horrified! But since they were bought in Galeries Lafayette, I went there to see if we could buy a new pair or something similar from the same brand. They did not! And a bit of questioning made it pretty clear they didn't have anything else from the brand other than a pair of pretty grubby houndstooth patterned shoes. They were cute but it was pretty obvious many people had tried them on. Well, that just wouldn't do so I went to Printemps to see if Lafayette's great rival had them. They didn't have them either! And so it was with great disappointment that I had to inform Pooey I had failed in my task. To soften the blow, I bought her a bag of schoko-bons (hi Lydia!) and we set about planning what to do during her short weekend.

But that's for the next entry ;)

Back in the city of Love, Love, Love *doo dee doo*

Yes, here I am in Paris again and I'm remembering things that I love about this city.

Love:

• Food. Oh god French food is good. It's worth the entry fee alone.
• Language. The Eurostar drivers are multi-lingual (as they need to be) and the driver I had was obviously French from the sing-song way he spoke English. Seriously, me and the woman next to me looked at each other and giggled when he made announcements.
• My hotel. I didn't think I could get better than Hotel Jeanne d'Arc...but my room, teeny-tiny though it was, had it's own Haussmann-esque balcony!!!

Photomerge of my room. As you can see in the mirror, I am pressed flush against the wall.

My balcony.

• Aesthetics. It is pleasing to the eye. This is the view from my teeny-tiny balcony.

Daylight.


Okay, I had a bit of trouble holding still for the night shots.

• Atmosphere. Other visitors have told me they went to Paris and hated it because it didn't have that *magical* aspect that they were expecting. I don't know what they're talking about. Walking down the boulevards still makes me smile. I think the day that Paris doesn't make me smile is the day that I need anti-depressants.

But as much as there is to love about here, I'm not blind to it's faults!
Hate:

• Not having a fridge in my tres petite room to store leftover cheese and pate. When I ask for une petite tranche...it never seems to be that petite.
• Rip off for internet! 15 euro cents a minute?! That's 9 euros an hour!
• Being understood and not understanding. I will dolefully admit my french is not what it used to be. Problems especially arise when I ask for something correctly and I receive an answer which was far more complex than I was expecting because they think I can speak french properly. Or even worse. I bought some postcards and I thought the shop I bought them from would also supply them (they didn't). So I went to a tabac to get them...and somewhere between asking for *timbres* at the original shop and the tabac, the native population seemed to lose comprehension of what I was asking for.
• The scunge-factor. Pretty though the city is, it can be pretty damn scungy. I really hate jumping various stains on the footpath just in case they happen to be dog, or even human, urine. Having said that, the Metro didn't have its usual scent - even Pooey picked up on that one!

(My love is like a) Heatwave!

Well what do you know? London, my best bud boy, really turned it on for me this week! When I arrived here last week, I'd been tracking the weather (naturally) and was pleasantly happy to find that it would be in the low to mid-twenties. I can't remember exactly when I first heard it being described by the term *heatwave* but I remember scoffing. Scoffing that such temperatures could be described as such. Obviously, these people have never lived through a 40-degree night.

But you know what? It was warm!!! And being the tourist/bum I am, it was the best way to enjoy the heat! On Sunday, Pooey and I walked from Westminster to Millbank during which she admitted that if London were more like that (warm and sunny), she probably wouldn't hate living here so much.

Pooey enjoying a rare hot day

We also caught the tube around where we heard announcements telling people to drink plenty of water and be aware of people fainting. *snort*

But things (for us) got kinda silly when I read the newspaper on Monday and found out that the heat (26 degrees) resulted in 1000 MORE phonecalls to the 999 emergency lines! And the way they kept crowing about how the temperature was warmer than in Greece and Morocco. I mean, please people.

Anyway being the unemployed/student/tourists we were, here are some pictures of me and Roxy enjoying the London heatwave. Enjoy!

Contemplating the day at Southwark Cathedral/Borough Market


Having our photo wrecked by a business man and the wind on Millenium Bridge towards St. Pauls

With the dinosaur at the Natural History Museum


With a really cute stuffed tiger & cub int he NHM shop!


At Marble Arch

In London again!

Well, following on the trend of cities as boys, London would be the equivalent of the buddy - we get on well, I know the quirks and despite all the craps, they cheer me up! This is my third visit, second in less than a year, and I finally realised...I've done all the main touristy things within the city limits!

But to paraphrase Dr. Johnson, when you're tired of London, you're tired of life and that's not the case with me! I started off London Trip mk3 by catching up with various Meldon folks. First off, I met up with Dirty Roy at our fave eating place, Borough Market, for food! Since Dirty Roy works near London Bridge, he knows which stalls were the best and when he said the magic words *pork crackling roll* I demanded to eat it! This was followed up by some fresh squeezed juice and dessert. Dirty Roy had a one quid brownie (which was huge, but inferior to the two pound brownie according to him) while I had a chocolate tart which I couldn't finish because it was like eating chocolate frosting. I took it home to share with Pooey instead. Unfortunately, I didn't photograph any of the food but trust me, it was good. :) Since I went home, I spent the afternoon watching music videos before taking a pleasant walk down Tower Bridge Rd. over the Tower Bridge, past the Tower of London, and into the City to meet Pooey and catch up with The Circle for dinner. Peishapan made curry laksa and chocolate fondue. Mmmmm, nums. Because we had booze, the night ended with Bridging and handstands.

Come Saturday, me, Pooey, and the Grand Empress toddled off to Hampton Court Palace to visit the home of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. Or at least me and Pooey were - we were pretty horrified when Grand Empress said she didn't know the whole story. I spent a bit of time telling her what I remembered of it (while at the same time criticising The Other Boleyn Girl) which turned out to be the right thing because she mentioned that without the backstory, the place would have been pretty boring. Here are some pics

Me & The Tudor Facade


The famous clock


Pooey tries to make some pies and collects a kid instead


Pritti gardens


The view to the palace from the gardens


Trying to find a shortcut through the garden's hedge maze


The Grand Empress really enjoys her ribena ice

Anyway, after the Palace, we decided to go to Primmy. The damage will be recorded in my post-trip shopping blog!

Final word on NYC?

Well a number of days have passed since my last proper NYC entry and I've had more time to reflect here. And you know what? I'm still not sure if I *love* New York.

*dodging arrows*

How could this be possible?!!? Even I'm puzzled by my seeming ambivalence. Lets check it off.

Environment - TICK! There's a lot of interesting architecture around here that reflects phases in the city's history. Especially the Art Deco for which it's justiably famous, there's some good gothic revival. Lots of pleasant little parks, and of course the big ones. The weather eventually turned nice on Sunday afternoon and made it all really nice. Sometimes you'd get a whiff of some stagnant water but that's the smell of any big city.

Culture - TICK! The Museum of Natural History, Museum of Modern Art, Metropolitan Museum of Art...they are good. The Guggenheim I didn't visit but I know that one's good. And I visited the Metropolitan Opera House (to buy a pair of opera glasses but the shop was closed - boo) and I took a look at their program. This season, various shows are featuring Nathalie Dessay, Placido Domingo, Renee Fleming, Angela Georghiu...dang, that's some selection! And then there's Broadway...

Native Population - Tick-Pass. The people were friendly, yes. I did a lot of chatting with random people and some really helped me out when I was semi-lost. But my tourist vibe attracted a lot of touts and people asking me if I were Japanese, and then explaining that I'm Australian and I do speak fluent english. It gets tiring.

Shopping - Tick-Pass. The shopping is excellent and with the weak US dollar, it can be downright cheap. What's annoying is because different US states have different tax laws, you have to add another 8% on top of the cited price in NY. It gets annoying. And you end up with a lot of pennies which are also annoying.

Food - Borderline Pass-Fail. Let's face it, food in the US is not great. While some of what I've eaten was pretty good (big ticks to Men Kui Tei, and the local Mixed Asian restaurant I went to with Uncle Nory on Tuesday), a lot of it was pure dross. The mantra of excess is extended to the food - I had a raspberry crepe in Central Park and here's a progression sequence.

Ugh, wayyyyy too much jam!

Also, I don't see the appeal of those giant pretzels. The one I ate was so salty even after I brushed off the excess salt, my mouth felt as if I were having a hypertonic attack. It was so salty it overrode my asian programming and I threw away food I paid for. I do not consider *variety* the mark of greatness. Nor do I consider what americans have done to pizza as *improving* it, as Uncle Nory has tried to argue. And what is with *zero-calorie* water?! I could go on and on with this topic.

Public Transport - Borderline Pass-Fail. It takes about 45 mins from where I am in Queens to Manhattan which I consider acceptable. After I bought a book, it didn't seem that long and the transfers are pretty quick. What brings the mark down to borderline fail is the overall condition of the system. The London Tube and Paris Metro aren't exactly bastions of cleanliness (hell, the Metro doubles as a public urinal), but the subway just took it to another level. The stations are especially depressing as they have major scunge-factor what with all the missing tiles and water leakage. I also wished sometimes that it were more comprehensive or better linkages between stations. London and Paris stops are close together, but (particularly in the case of Paris), it's walkable if you really wanted to. To get to the Met, I could have gotten out at Lexington/63rd, walk 250m to Lexington/59th and then catch the subway to 86th...which is still 500m away from the Museum. I preferred to walk the 1-1.25km from Lex/63rd but that would not be an option if I were travelling with someone like Ma.

So on all the important categories, NYC managed to pass pretty much all of them but it let itself down on some petty things that would mar the pleasure. Things like I'd be walking around thinking *you know, I think I really like this place!* and then I'd trip on some uneven paving or pothole - which are EVERYWHERE. I really wonder how the SATC girls didn't twist their ankles or break their shoes more often. Or I'd be lying in Central Park watching some kids and thinking *awww, theyre cute* and then they'd let out a huge scream and their black/latina/asian/always different raced nanny would come and amuse them. Or I'd be happily eating an icecream and then the wind would blow something onto it. And then I'd sneeze. Pooey thinks the city just hates me.

Maybe it's because I spent most of my time here alone and lying around in parks thinking. Maybe if I were given less time to be introspective the result would be different. But here's one thing I came up with: If we liken cities to dating, NYC is like the boy who ticks all the boxes but I can't seem to really love. Probably because he does improbable things that piss me off. Maybe if I gave them more time...

Some NYC photos

Really foggy day on top of the Empire State

Empire State spire from the observation deck. It was THAT foggy.

View of the Chrysler Building

Ground Zero

Pritti pritti tulips

Statue of Liberty really far in the distance

mmmm....salty!


Man feeding dog ice cream in Battery Park

Central Park Lake House

Me in Times Square

New York thoughts so far...

Pretty much everyone assured me I would love New York. These include my former travelling companions (Hai Lydia!), my co-workers (Hai Veruscka, Lab gals!), various friends (Hai QQ, Dr. I-K, Grand Empress!), people I barely know (Hai Uncle Nory!), and my Pooey (Hai Pooey!). As such, even though I wasn't really looking forward to this trip, I was getting geared up to the NY leg. Part of the reason why I have taken so long to write this entry despite Uncle Nory giving me free access to his machine (which is in my room) is that I, quite frankly, wasn't feeling the love. Sacrilege, I know! But being the fair gal I am, I decided to hold off until I started to feel the love. The love is growing people because I felt it bloom today.

But this entry is not about the love, it's about the frustration about seeking love and not finding it.

For the last few weeks, NYC has been going through some unseasonally cold weather. This made my Friday pretty miserable because I had been instructed by Pooey not to bring a big coat because I was going to take her London stuff. Big mistake. It was FREEZING on Friday when I went to the Natural History Museum. Luckily Uncle Nory has one of those puffy Ralph Lauren jackets, which I borrowed. Then because I'm in Queens, I had to take a bus to the subway station...but the buses don't take notes. This is where I have to write a fawning tribute to Celeste, the lady on the bus. Celeste took pity on me and asked the bus if anyone had enough coins to give me so I could buy a ticket and everyone coughed up! She then instructed me on various hints to get around so I didn't have Pooey's problem or trubs with those not very intuitive maps. And to top it off, she gave me her phone number in case I got lost! I LOVE CELESTE! (Okay, so maybe there was first day love)

The Natural History Museum is the SHIZNIT!!! This is especially true if you have seen Night at the Museum. Even though there were screaming kids everywhere, I really enjoyed it because it provided succour for my nerdiness in a non-didactic, non-boring way. When you enter from Central Park West, you are greeted by dinosaurs! (I would recommend that you actually enter from Columbus Ave because there are less people.) However, my joy at the entire thing was diluted by two things - because I was travelling alone, there was no one to take stupid photos with. I really wanted to take a photo of me with the Easter Island head but didn't because I didnt want to reveal to the Dad with Kids how juvenile I was (the kids stood next to it nice and normally). Secondly...my camera battery died!!! And my spare was dead too!!! So all the photos I took were on my stupid camera phone which is terrible. *sniff*

The museum is across the road from Central Park but because the day was quite dreary, I couldn't dance around singing *That's how you know!* like I intended and went to Times Square instead. Here I was hoping to get my *wow! I'm in NY!* feeling...which didn't eventuate. I stood there looking at the coke sign for ages waiting for it and it didn't come. Boo.

The next day I went to Woodbury Common to look for some ankle boots. Every shoe store pretty much told me they were out of boots. I was getting soooooo frustrated that to cheer me up, I went to BCBG and loaded up on a coat, jumper and dress (I will detail this in my customary post-trip shopping entry) before taking a break for lunch. After lunch, I decided to hit the stores I usually wouldn't buy footwear from...and when I realised I was seriously considering buying a pair of Gucci ankle gumboots because it was the closest to what I was looking for($US400 - I will say without irony that that's really cheap!) , I actually felt myself getting angry at the injustice of it all. Since I know you can get cute accessories from Furla quite cheap, I went there to cool down. I only intended to get something to match my frog lanyard but a pair of plum shoes later (70% off!!!), I walked out much happier.

I decided to stop being so selfish and buy some pressies from the Disney store, but the day had gotten nicer which increased the population of the Common exponentially, which increased the number of screaming kids exponentially. I decided to call it a day and collected Uncle Nory to go back home.

Anyway, next entry will be about the love!

Grrrrll......Frisky!

Okay, I'm in New York with Dr. I-K's Uncle Nory...but this entry is about what happened when I travelled from FL to NY. I was *randomly* selected for a security check and

I GOT FRISKED!!!

The first alarm went off when Antonia and I were told to use a very scanning line that was roped off from everyone else. Second alarm went off when as soon as they looked at my passport, the guard yelled out *CODE ELEVEN!!!!* The third one was when the scanning guard said *I'll take your boarding pass*. Fourth one, when I walked through the metal detector (which didn't go off), another guard told me to take a seat.

A little guard wielding a hand-held metal detector walked up to me and she informed me that I may refuse the test...at which point I started giggling. Note to future travellers, don't wear jeans through US airports. Those little metal studs and zip just set the machine off and she apologetically said she was going to use the back of her hand to make sure I wasn't wearing anything. Also, if you're a girl, don't wear underwire bras. When she frisked me there I just burst out loud. She joined in on the laughter which just got crazier when she ran it over my head and the alarm went off again - I had clipped back my fringe.

Anyway, I'm off to the Museum of Natural History today - Dinosaurs!

Fort Lauderdale impressions

Well I think I've experienced enough here for me to start writing this. This place (the conference and the city) can only be described as *weird*. And the funny thing is they seem to relish the weirdness. I think.

First about the conference. It is HUGE. Huge like it puts all the large conferences I've been to to shame. On the first day I came here, I believe I just walked around with huge eyes as I tried to digest the multitude of things assaulting my eyes and ears (la phantasmagorie) and then freaked when I realised how difficult it would be to make it to all the relevant things for both myself and my lab. That wore off pretty quickly when I realised the sheer size meant that half the stuff I hadn't heard of or flat out didn't understand. Everyone seems to be happy to chat or let me sit at their table or share a cab with me. Many Americans have said *oooh, I lurve y'are accent!* or complain when I don't sound *Aussie enough*. For those who get my emails, Hairy Vladimir from Russia said I didn't sound Australian at all until I said 'New York'. There is also an angry coffee woman, but since I don't drink coffee my contact with her is minimal.

The hotel I'm staying at is okay. My room is roomy and pleasant - we get cable - although I have seen a cockroach. I'm chalking it up to the environment rather than hygiene levels. The hotel has a bar/restaurant that claims to be *world famous* and judging by the academics who hang out there after a hard day's thinking...perhaps it is! The funny thing is, it seems as though a lot of locals hang out in this hotel - no doubt enjoying the mixed that is the best in the world. I have yet to verify this claim.

And now for the city. I have been to the beach and it was quite pleasant and it gives you a real snapshot of what it's like down here. All the men are shirtless and all the women (especially if theyre of a certain age) are brown. The men will hit on you. And it's not in the way that Italians will shout out a *ciao bella* as you walk past. They are insistent. They'll keep yelling *hai! how are you? Yes, you! You're beautiful!* until they get a reaction. Antonia was sitting on the beach minding her own business when a guy plopped down next to her and she said that within 5 mins, he asked her if she'd like to go on a date.

Food servings are HUGE. I ordered a small garden salad ($3.95 excl tax and tip) and it was like a European main! Another time I had a steamed shellfish dinner and it was topped off with a 1/4 of a crab with HUGE long legs that covered the large bowl. And a massive tub of melted butter. The only food servings that aren't huge are the ones at the conference. Much to my disgust, this conference is not catered so you have to buy your food. The stuff within the conference centre is pretty disgusting - I never thought I'd get sick of the smell of sugary cinnamon - and what it lacks for in size it makes up in fat content. If you want a healthy option...lets say I paid $US2 for a banana. It was a pretty awesome banana but it's not as if a cyclone went through and wiped out the crop. I also had a $US7 fruit cup. Ditto. There's a french bakery around the corner that has really good croissants and baguettes and it's making an absolute killing of quality starved scientists.

Also, I can't find a shopping centre anywhere. It's a good thing the 24 hour pharmacy sells food. Weird.

The Hell Flight

Dearest Readers,

I would like to take the opportunity to tell you all to never fly as direct as possible from Melbourne to Fort Lauderdale. It is not worth the damage to your physical or mental health. I mean sure, the total flying time logs in at only 20 hours (pretty much or slightly less than the time it takes to get to London), but the legs and the moving against time is a killer. Of course, not everyone will suffer as I have suffered - my travelling companion Antonia believed herself to be fine. Of course, she also crashed to bed despite a band playing pop music outside her room last night.

My Melb - LA flight left Melb at 10:30am and flew 14 hours straight to LA. At various points, I would check the flight details and shudder when it said that there were X hours left to fly. Having said that, when we actually touched down at LAX, I didn't feel that bad. Nor was my experience there that unpleasant. By arriving at 7:30am local time, I think we managed to beat most of the international flights in so I didn't have to wait too long before getting fingerprinted and giving a mugshot to Homeland security.

Our next leg to Dallas was booked to leave at 10am, and since we managed to get processed in under an hour, there was plenty of time to brush teeth and wait around to be allowed onto the plane. This is where things started to go pear-shaped. The flight to Dallas took 3 hours and five minutes but it just seemed to go twice as long. This is despite me kinda sleeping. And finishing three sudoku. And reading the entire in flight magazine. By the time we got to Dallas, I was fairly frazzled.

Our transit time in Dallas was three hours and there were some pretty interesting experiences had here. Firstly, because they couldn't issue us boarding passes for our flight to Fort Lauderdale in Melb, we had to re-check in...but they never made it clear as to whether we had to collect our luggage and check them in too. One empty luggage carousel later, we had our answer. And since we had to check in again, we got security checked again.

That brings me to this side topic about security. I'm aware that large cities conduct shoe checks ever since Richard Reid, the attempted shoe-bomber. What I have never heard of before is the *gas/blow test*. Basically what happens is while your bags and shoes are being checked, you walk into a clear cubicle, stand where the footprints are, and then you get gas blasted at you. You can not leave the cubicle until the light goes green. I remember walking into the cubicle, looking at it and thinking *what the hell is this?!* before being blasted by the gas. I walked out a bit stunned later and started putting my shoes back on and watched Antonia get tested...I fully believe that her stunned look mirrored my own. Further analysis of the machine while people were tested has me convinced that it was a giant GLC machine because I noticed a small screen that would show peaks just as the cubicle door would open.

Anyway, after proving to security that I didn;t have explosive residue on my clothes, we stumbled to Maccas where I had a *Big n Tasty w/ cheese* burger meal. It was actually a McFeast but damn it hit the spot. I have decided that long haul flights are like getting drunk - you get dehydrated and can only be solved by drinking lots of water or eating a fatty meal. At the gate to get onto our flight, it was pretty easy to spot who was a conference delegate and who was returning home. The stats speak for themself - apparently 14 wheelchairs were required to get some of our flightmates onto the plane.

The 2 hour 50 minute flight again felt three times as long. It probably wasn't helped by me falling asleep during the safety demonstration so when I woke up, I couldn't tell how long we'd been flying for. The pilot also apologised a lot for turbulence that I couldn't feel. *shrug* I also began a countdown from the time he said we'd be landing in 45 minutes. Longest 45 minutes of my life!

Regardless, by the time I hit Fort Lauderdale yesterday, I'd been awake for 26 hours (I don't count my plane naps because they did nothing!) despite the clock telling me it was less than 12 hours ago since I'd gotten on the plane in Melb. The pleasures of being able to get out of my clothes, take a warm shower, and sleep lying down could not erase the psychological damage endured or the dark circles under my eyes today.

Learn from my adventure. You have been warned.
Mallymoodle

Goodbye drinks

QQ had been given a drinks night. I needed a place to say goodbye to friends before I embark on the Great US/Euro Trip 2008. Combine our dual situations and you got last night's party.

Or rather, it started out a party and then became an angry mess as the place that we were having drinks tried to evict us and then tried to force our friends to pay for entry at about 8:30 last night. Unimpressed.

But I blew the drinking limit out of the water...I can't really think what else to say