On Saturday night, Queenie, Carmie and I decided to go get a chick-flick to watch while the boys played poker. Standing in front of the shelves, we were stuck with the eternal dilemma - *what to get?!?!* The shopgirl, cognisant of our problem, suggested we try out the latest movie from Cameron Crowe, Elizabethtown, featuring Orland Bloom and Kirsten Dunst.
Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom) was nurtured by a Portland, Oregon-based sports show company to design great shoes for them. Unfortunately, the shoe he designed, the Spasmotica (really, for letting that name get through, the marketing guy should have been shot), lost the company ONE BILLION DOLLARS - and he got fired and dumped by his gf to boot. Just as he is about to give himself the proverbial heave-ho, Drew's sister rings to tell him that their Father has died and as the eldest, Drew has to return to his Father's home town of Elizabethtown, Kentucky, to fulfill his wishes re. the funeral. On his way there, he meets Claire (Kirsten Dunst) the flight attendent and the story writes itself.
What can I say?
1. Movies that are meant to show charming little towns in Middle-America filled with quirky people inevitably end up showing annoying weirdos.
2. Perky flight attendants who just happen to turn up where you least expect it are creepy, not quirky.
3. I don't know if its his faux US accent, but Orlando Bloom just never struck me as convincing - see Kingdom of Heaven. In fact I'm not even sure if his pretty face made up for the fact that what was coming out of his mouth just didn't ring true for the situation.
4. There should have been more Susan Sarandon - the role of her character in the father's life should have been expanded because it was the most interesting aspect of the film.
5. Alec Baldwin was also good but his character was gone within the first 15 minutes. Shoulda expanded why they bothered to waste so much time, money and thought to nurture Orlando. Then again, for someone to not realise his protege is a complete stuff-up kinda says something.
5. Seeing as there was so little plot and character development...why the hell did the movie go for two hours?! So slow!!!!
There's a whole heap of other things I could talk about why this movie is terrible but I don't want to waste that much brain power thinking about it anymore.
3/10
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