Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) gets himself into quite a bit of trouble with the law after a drunken stunt in the pursuit of blonde hottie, Samantha (Brooklyn Decker - aka Mrs. Andy Roddick). Fed up with his ways, older brother Stone (Alexander Skarsgaard) declares that Alex will join him in the Navy! A few years later, each brother is in control of a destroyer, and Alex is working up the nerve to ask Sam's dad (Liam Neeson) for her hand in marriage except Dad is an Admiral who is none too impressed with the younger Hopper's problems with authority. Anyway, navies from various countries congregate in Hawaii to take part in war games....when aliens invade Earth after stupid humans transmitted a signal in the direction of their planet a few years earlier.
Does this sound like a stupid move? Well it was. Now, I love me a good stupid movie that doesn't take itself too seriously but I think this movie may have been too stupid, even for me! It's not often I say out loud in a cinema "This movie is shit" (I believe the last time was during Real Steel) but I did say it during Battleship. Based on the eponymous board game, it has an absolute bare bones plot (and I use that term loosely) just to lead up to the moment when a guy looking at a screen can call out letter/number coordinates with the aim of bombing a ship - exactly like the game!
In fact, I can imagine a room full of scriptwriters scratching their heads wondering how they were going to put themselves in a situation where a character has to look at a screen and say the golden lines *E-15....I-24...G-9...* etc and so forth.In that respect, I suppose they did it right. Also, it's strange - it's like in the second half of the movie, the scriptwriters also decided to give up any pretense to being serious (quite a bit of it existed in the first half) and decided to shoot straight for the ridiculous. Especially the Dad's Army bit. I actually got the giggles part way through which made the rest of the cinema laugh as well. Actually, I pride myself on that!
On the other hand...the CGI is pretty good and Japan manages to save the world and you can't say that's a common occurrence in Hollywood CGI blockbusters. That's pretty much worth a point or two on it's own. And the people I went to watch it with seemed to enjoy it.
I....I really don't know if this review is a recommendation or a fail!!!! Better stick to the initial gut reaction
2+2/10 (2 bonus points for Japan!)
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