Blog challenge - Who would you choose to...?

THE RULES:
You have to choose one footballer to do each of the following activities with.
You can't choose the same person for more than two answers.
You have to explain your reasons behind each answer.
Bonus lolz for being specific with certain questions!

Who would you choose to...

1) Go backpacking across Europe with?
Hroje Vejic. I've always wasnted to go to Russia. He's the only guy I can think of who can speak Russian who's not Russian. Or Marat but he's not a baller.

2) Teach you their language?
Kaka and Ronaldinho for the Portuguese, Spanish and Italian. Kaka is so pure that while I might get distracted, he would make sure I pass the exams. Plus, he looks really hot in glasses.
Ronaldinho is so ugly I'll study really hard so I can prove that I don't need two tutors.

3) Go on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire with?
Niko Kranjcar or Frank Lampard. Both are apparently smart and I like to win.

4) Bake a chocolate carrot cake with?
Cesc Fabregas. Cesc would be really into making the cake - enthusiasm and willingness to learn is important in cookery. Then we'd have a really good reason to go visit Xabi and make him eat it.

5) Get drunk and sing karaoke with?
Iker Casillas. He can't sing for crap but he's got enthusiasm and that's what's really important in karaoke.

6) Go on an extreme sports holiday with?
Christoph Metzelder. He's made of glass. 'Nuff said.

7) Raise money for underprivileged kids with?
Fabio Cannavaro. He loves kids, kids love him, plus he seems like the kind of guy who people would just give money to. That last bit is really important.
8) Marry and have lots of sex and babies with?
Iker Casillas. We'd have the most beautiful babies - the sons would look like David Silva, the girls would look like other halfie girls.

9) Play an embarrassingly tabloid-worthy prank on?
Cesc! He seems like he'd take a joke really well if this is any example.

10) Have a short but wholly satisfying sordid affair with?
Yoann Gourcuff. And it would only be short because Iker would get so upset at how quickly Lashes and I bonded over fromage, galettes, crepes, la langue francaise...

11) Go to a fancy dress event with?
Again, people have said Fernando Torres and really, with evidence like this, why wouldn't you want to go to a costume party with him?
My other option would be Crouchie after seeing this pic that Ven posted.
Seriously, he looks so happy in that parrot suit its worth seeing again.

12) Have a drunken hook up that you may regret with?
The dirty hot David Villa. But thinking of his cutie-pie daughter Boo/Zaida would mean it's never happening again. And Gina might have a few choice words too.

13) Go ballroom dancing with?
Niko K. All gentleman - he's 6'1, looks great in a suit, and probably knows how to waltz without stepping on my feet.
14) Pull off an Ocean's Eleven style heist with?
Becks, Cronaldo, or someone else equally famous. He can go in and distract everyone while I carry out The Heist.

15) Go on a secret mission with?
See number 14.