Blockbuster season has been ho-hum for me with Spiderman 3, Pirates 3, Shrek 3, and Ocean's (1)3 all passing by (I'll prob see them on DVD). So what of Transformers considering I have said numerous times that Michael Bay OWES ME THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK. I still can't believe I went and saw Pearl Harbour in the cinema. I don't think Transformers closes the debt, but it comes mighty close.
The AllSpark was a life-giving cube from the planet Cybertron. The evil leader of the Decepticons, Megatron, wanted to use the AllSpark for nefarious purposes. The honourable Autobots led by Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen - from the original cartoon series) are there to stop him! Cybertron was destroyed by war and the AllSpark lost to the
galaxy until it crash landed on...EARTH!!! Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) inadvertently buys the Transformer Bumblebee as his first car and a whole bunch of other humans including the super-hot Josh Duhamel (right) get dragged into the war between the two groups of giant robots (in disguise).Like all Michael Bay movies, a certain number of elements are present:
- Plot that makes no sense (although people walking into this movie expecting a plot are asking too much).
- Major bust up with lots of explosions/car chases/flying.
- Unbelievably bad dialogue.
- Large ensemble cast who either get largely discarded (Bernie Mac) or kept on despite no reason to stay there (Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson)
BECAUSE FOR ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE IT ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS, THIS FILM ROCKED!!!
Everything I hate in movies were present...and of course, it was done by Michael Bay. But what helped me enjoy it immensely was that it seems everyone involved in the film (except John Voight) did not take it seriously. This movie is gloriously, ridiculously stupid and not one iota of angst (apart from the CGI) is wasted on making it intelligent. The bad dialogue (really, it is shocking!) is counteracted by the tongue in cheek references and the equally hammy acting. Shia LaBeouf is particularly good considering most of his acting, especially the *holy shit, there's a giant robot in front of me* bits must have been against blank space.
Absolutely ludicrous plot elements abound - Sam telling Optimus Prime off for crushing his mum's roses, the Autobots trying to be inconspicuous and trying to save the human race...but then they lure the Decepticons to a major city where the robots go mano-a-mano in the central business district, killing god knows how many people.
The CGI is something most reviews have raved about and with good reason. It is seamless. For most CGI, there is a slight something wrong with it that makes you know it is fake. But in Transformers, while you know the giant robots have been animated into the live action, the animations have a solid rendering that it looks like they could have built giant models and had the people act around them. I was a mild fan of the cartoons when I was a very young child, especially of the *shrit zhuup shreet* sound they made when they transformed, and I loved the transforming animations. I could have watched an hour of that alone.
But enough raving, here's a list of things I really didn't like- Product placement - all Autobots are GMC vehicles except for Optimus Prime (because you know everyone would have had a fit if he weren't his usual Mac truck)
- Bumblebee being a Camaro instead of the inconic Beetle. But I guess he's still ok
- The human characters are pretty one-dimensional...there's no more to them than meets the eye
- Megan Fox - can't act one bit. But she looks good...so I guess that's enough.
- The amount of time it took for the transformers to start fighting each other. And when they were fighting I couldn't really tell who was whom.
- The script. It is really that bad
- Josh Duhamel's costume has too many pieces
- Silly Natty has mentioned to me that the sound effects (full of deep bass) were overwhelming when she saw it.
And so in conclusion, Michael Bay has surprisingly delivered a movie that contains many elements of his other shockers, yet manages to be wonderful entertainment instead of making me add another 2.5 hours to his debt. If you don't love CGI, explosions, and stupidity, don't bother.
8/10
(pictures from rottentomatoes.com)
3 comments:
ehh
u forgot to mention that they all should have been their original vehicles.
(this had to be edited due to Kenny's revelation of certain secret identities)
Ladiesman_217 said...
Well, after reading your transformers review, I must say you did your research! As you know I was appalled to hear my beloved Transformers only got an 8 and I’m here to try and persuade you to up the scores!
After prodding you about your other reviews and what you liked and disliked about other movies, I noticed that you were a stickler for the particulars, references to past historical affiliations, storyline and the effort producers put to make the unreal seem…”unreal”!
But first, a little rebuttal on the list of “things you didn’t like”:
1. GMC product placement – I do have to agree, it was a bit much, however, GMC did provide Michal Bay with something like 100 cards just to blow up! It seems you know a bit of Michal Bay’s work, so you would also know that he is a very nitty gritty person, and his pyrotechnics are the real deal! In the scene on the bridge where a decptacon cuts through a bus, that was actually real. The set up a bus which was cut up, and fused together with explosives. Then, in one entire shot and with a stunt driver, they timed it so that the bus would explode in reference to the surrounding action sequence. In the final fight scene, all the cars being crushed and thrown around were not fake, they were real cars being smashed up. So I think one would have to excuse him on this point…
2. Bumblebee Camaro vs beetle – at the start, I was also appalled to see bumblebee not actually “bumblebee”. Michal Bay’s explanation to this was that the original transformers vehicles would not really fit the modern kind of requirements. For example, if Starscream was also the original carton Jet fighter, he would be dead mid transformation by today’s standards. What he did was to say “ok, starscream was meant to be the fastest, best jet fighter at the time” so he went to the US Airforce, and actually took footage of the latest jet prototype, which was soo top secret, that military escorts were provided, and footage was screened etc. Same with Bumble bee – the Camaro was actually a prototype/concept design. He did make the effort to reference to the beetle when Sam bought the car in the beginning.
In Optimus’s case, the truck was not actually the same as the one in the cartoon series – in the cartoon has a flat nosed truck. The reason was actually physics. In the series, the actual volume of the transformers was not the same when they transformed – see Megatron for example. When creating the CGI for the prime, they found that they could not physically get a flat nosed truck to transform properly into prime – there was not enough volume to play with – thus a long nosed truck was used. This is also an example of the detail they went though for the transformers, that they actually could transform properly, parts did not magically disappear and reappear pre and post transformations i.e. you could actually do the transformation. It sucks they didn’t used the real original transformations, but if they went to the trouble to perfect actual physical transformations, then I think I’ll excuse them.
3. Human characters – yeah….true….they were sort of bland, but at least they mage homage to widwiki. Something to keep in mind is that this is sort of a set up for the next 2 movies so depth can be extended. Should be noted on the plus column, that in the final fight, mega fox and Shia didn’t kiss….! : )
4. Transformer fight scenes - yeah, on the normal screen, it was a shame, but in Imax, it was so clear! Some of the scenes were cut short (optumis vs deceptacon on the bridge) which adds to the uncertainty. It should be noted though, that all the transformer hand-to-hand combat scenes were modelled and created from martial arts stunt coordinators, who used a fusion of Asian and Brazilian martial arts. Also, each robot had an individual fighting style modelled off actual people.
5. In terms of plot, I think they did a pretty good job of it considering what they had to begin with/work with. In terms of movie storylines vs comic storylines I’m critical of how much they deviate, and blast at any minor differences on the past marvel and dc storyboards. But there is no way in hell they could use the original story for transformers, and what they did was a pretty good replacement, and even made homage to the “enagon cubes”.
Stuff you may not know, and appreciate the movie more because of it:
1. Because Michal Bay had good ties with the military, in all the scenes where there was military personal – beginning of the movie, on planes directing fight planes and bombers, were all real solders, not extras. All the tanks, jeeps, aircraft, helicopters were all real! And any that were blown up, were really blown up! The non-actors in the team lead by Josh Duhamel were actually real Navy Seals! Furthermore, the actors i.e. Josh, Tyreese, and that guy from prison break, all did basic training, lived and trained as solders, learned how to move as real solders alongside the seals. In the fight scene in the desert, they built a real lifesize model of the “town” and shot everything with real military planes etc. Its al real as a CGI movie can get.
2. In terms of detail, CGI team went to an incredible amount of detail. If you look at a car and shine a light on it, you see it reflects a certain way. The CGI team, modelled that kind of light reflection in each frame there was a transformer for each particular scene and movement or reflection from a actor. This kind of detail meant that the rendering process of any scene with a transformer took a wooping 36 hours…per frame! Thus the realism you get when you watch the movie!
3. There was a lot of references to the series that stood out to the fans. You already noted that they casted Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus (which is awesome!), but there were some things you may not have known that transformer fans were extremely happy to see. FYI, the original voice of megaton was originally casted, but after watching the playbacks, did not fit the movie, thus they used hugo weaving. There was a particular deceptacon that they could not make – soundwave. This was because of the physics side once again, so they made frenzy (that little funky robot) in homage to soundwave – hence the transformation to a boom box. They actually built this guy and puppeteered his movements, and also used him to perfect that reflective aspect. They also made sure to used one of the future robots (scorpionok) in homage to the newer age of transformers. They made references and paid homage to key moves in fight scenes (jazz moving the barrel of destroyer (tank)) and phrases (optimus vs megatron – “on shall stand, one shall fall”). Though to normal audiences mean nothing, are massive little easter eggs to fans.
This is all I could come up with for now, but it’s a start. One thing you mention in your review is that you say there is a minimal amount of intelligence put into this movie. What kind of intelligence do you want here? Do you mean that the actors should have had more intelligent dialogue and not be as funny/comical as they were i.e. Shia’s one liners etc and be a bit more serious? If this is what you mean, than I have to agree, and they should have been a tad more serious about things, but perhaps it was for the non-transformer fan base? Its comparable to what I say about harry potter – that it should have been a darker kind of movie series, rather than a light kid film, but that’s a matter of target audiences etc. At any rate, I hope you come to appreciate the extent in which the actors, CGI and producer went to portray realism and references and homage’s to the original series.
I am happy to discuss further! : )
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