The Gym

I'll confess, the first time I knew people who went to the gym regularly, I used to deride them for their vanity and love of *show muscles*. I would call them *gym rats* and do a bunch of other mean things that I loved doing. Then of course something happened. I too was converted to the ranks of gym rats about 4 or 5 years ago...whom I now called *gym bunnies*. But the name is not the point! The point is that I suddenly discovered the kind of masochistic fun that only the gym can provide.

Gym requires ritual humiliation, not only of yourself but also of others! You have to weigh yourself in front of many other people, some who are chock-full of muscles and therefore justify their mass. But however bad you feel, imagine what'd be like for that fat guy who's kinda shuffling towards, then away, then finally jumps on, only to slink away. Then of course theres comparing your cardio/weight fitness compared to others. I'm not a big girl and my chest is more fat than muscle so the best I have ever bench pressed is 10kg, although this has devolved back to 5kg. Yes, I know. Laugh as much as you want all you guys who press 60kgs. But at least I'm the one with the better technique! Whats the point in benching that much if everyone can hear your moans and groans and the *CLANK!* of weights hitting each other in between each of your presses? There's the ignominy of being afflicted with extreme sweatiness that on one hand proves that you've had a good workout, but on the other makes you reek and look pretty disgusting. And of course, the most truly masochistic thing of all, the pain you feel the day after a workout.

So here's a list of things I love and hate about the gym:
People who do the Lat-Pulldown incorrectly. Like, it goes in front of your chin, ok?
Goddammit, the stair machine is not meant to hit the bottom or the top!
People who hog the cross-training machines
Just because you can bench 60kgs, doesn't mean everyone else can. Take off the weights for us girls with skinny arms.
People who stretch lengthways on the stretching mat and take up as much room as possible.
Groaners
Starers
Point-and-laughers

When the scale tells you good news!
All your favourite machines are free. FREE!!!
People who fall off equipment. I'm sorry, but its funny.
Good-looking guys (although there arent that many nowadays)
Tummy burn
The waterfountain, no matter how dirty, is always the best thing in the world.
Trash mags
ENDORPHINS

Well thats it from me today. Looks like I'll be doing some PhD-related writing for the next few days. You guys wanna hear my preliminary hypothesis? Some other day, methinks.