Edward Scissorhands - the non-dance spectacular

Dance and I have a tricky relationship. While I appreciate it as an artistic medium and the loads of technique that goes into it, as a narrative medium I find it lacking. That is not to say that dance does not work in narrative contexts - the long history of classical ballet is a sure demonstration that it can. However, there are simply times when in order to tell a story, dance turns into mime. This is the problem with Matthew Bourne's Edward Scissorhands.

The first half in particular is a problem as the dancers mime out 50s suburbia, their role in society, their character etc etc with lots of pointing and gesturing and, frankly given how long the sequences are, it gets old quickly. It does however end with the topiary dance which is a highlight too late to knock out the fact I was falling asleep. The second half is better but it also highlighted problems such as where to direct your attention during the large set pieces. The production itself is very well done - a lot of effort has been put into the costume and sets and they really are a visual feast.

Ultimately however, I felt the production was not the highlight of my night. That would be my tomato chicken at Dessert House.

Movie review - The Dark Knight

Interesting. This film has shot to #1 on the IMDB.com top 250 movies, above such vaunted films as The Shawshank Redemption and The Godfather (as of today). Admittedly it has approximately 50% of the votes as the other two films going for it (approx 150,000 votes for TDK), but since it is also scoring 95% at rottentomatoes.com (90% critical, 93% community), one could say that the response is overwhelmingly positive. What's my view?

Set an indeterminate time after the first movie, Bruce Wayne/Batman's (Christian Bale who is hot x2) vigilante spree is inspiring the citizens of Gotham to act against criminals with mixed results and mixed responses from the police and legal force. Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) trusts Batman and the new, ambitious, and seemingly incorruptible D.A., Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) wants in on the secret society and help taking down the Mob. Dent is also the new paramour of Wayne's schoolyard girlfriend, Rachael Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal). But Gotham has a bigger criminal to worry about than the Mob. Enter The Joker (Heath Ledger) and slowly everyone in Gotham starts questioning their motives and others...

Honestly? I don't know what to say about this movie. It's been two days since I saw it and one day since I started writing my review and usually I can punch out an analytical review pretty quickly. This is no doubt due to the fact that during a movie, I'm usually scanning for flaws in the various aspects that make a film and then I do some thinking about how I feel when it ends. At no point during the screening did I sit there going *WHAT?!?!* I mean sure, there's the usual suspension of belief that comes with an action movie but I had no *oh, don't go there - you'll wreck it!* moments. Apart from some things listed below, the plot, the script, the acting, the action, music, cinematography etc etc are top notch.

A lot of reviews talk about how this is an intellectual adaptation of a comic, and I put this down to The Joker. Heath's acting in this role is undoubtedly fantabulous, but I think more kudos goes to the director, writer, and costume and makeup for creating such a character. The Joker is exactly that - a wildcard whose motives cannot be guessed at nor controlled and makes everyone, particularly Batman, second guess their motivations. A foil to Batman who seeks to inspire good, The Joker preys on human weakness for his own amusement. I won't say *aims* or *ends* because he really does seem to be a psychotic who enjoys chaos and conflict rather than for furthering some sort of promotion of himself. Having said that, without Heath's undoubtedly creepy performance, The Joker would not be so memorable. A certain tilt of the head, a creepy snicker, you'll never look at someone licking their lips the same way again)!

But as Icey said when I asked him if he'd read it in an intellectual way, *pffft intellectual*. If you're not into questioning the philosophy behind people's motives, the action sequences are tense (as well they should be) and spaced at regular intervals. Lots of good explosions which I viewed in all it's second from the back row IMAX glory. I'd prefer more hand to hand combat, but I think the first movie showed us that swords can't win against bombs. Pooey also liked a particular stunt involving sending a bike up a wall and then around again and I do remember thinking it was cool when I saw it.

The things I didn't like...well, I still found Bale's raspy voice whenever he's in the Batsuit kind of annoying. Okay, I get that he can't speak in his normal voice but it's like....yeah... One might also argue that The Joker's entire manifesto is Anarchy and therefore not as ground breaking as it's made out to be. With further thought, I think this is true. Also, I found the Mayor's (Nestor Carbonell) eye make up distracting. He doesn't need that eyeliner on his lower lashes and as soon as I pointed that out to Ladiesman_217 who was sitting next to me, the movie was ruined. Hehehe. Rachael as a character is still extremely underwritten but I can deal with it as Maggie was infinitely better and more believable than Katie Holmes.

Better than Shawshank or Godfather, I don't know. What I can tell you is that it is certainly intense, compelling and worth 153 minutes of your life.
8.5-9/10
EDIT - I have decided while reading over the review that my complaints are kinda petty (well, except for the Anarchy thing) so I'm upgrading the film to
9/10

Lazy days. Not

Hai people, I thought I'd just share my pain. Today I was on the more romantic of the confocal microscopes, Pascal. Pascal is also far more faithful than the faithless Meta - Meta is always letting people down, requiring *service* and just being complex and needy in general. How can I not love Pascal when not only is rose his representative colour on the booking system but also since he shares his name with the French philosopher and mathematician, Blaise Pascal, of such lines like Le coeur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connaît point (The heart has its reasons, that reason does not know). Oh yes, Pascal is a charmer.

As we are both extremely busy beings, usually Pascal and I can only catch up on the weekends in mega-date mode. Mega-dates usually involves spending the entire day together from 10am to about 5pm. At those times, when it is just the two of us in the dark and I am enveloped in his laser-induced warmth, it is as if he is telling me Entre nous, et l'enfer ou le ciel, il n'y a que la vie entre deux, qui est la chose du monde la plus fragile. (Between us, and Hell or Heaven, there is only life between us, which is the most fragile thing in the world).

So it was much to my horror that someone else had claimed Pascal for this afternoon. I was totally shattered. With much gnashing of teeth, screaming and tears, I relented and agreed to take his time from 8am to 1pm. But my rage was not to be easily assuaged - I was going to work Pascal like I felt he owed me. 220 photos later, I was satisfied but felt hollow inside as the work was not completed. Work which could have been completed if we had another 4.5 hours. Alas, as with all romances, we had to part and he turned his attentions to another girl.

Can you guys tell that I've been on this machine too long? Too bad I'm going to follow it up with another session tomorrow. *sniff*

Working soundtrack

Whenever I take Toshi home, I like to plonk myself on the coffee table and put the TV on while I work. My usual brand of poison are music videos. They don't require too much attention (a la shows like Dexter or Rome) and usually make pleasant background noise.

Well tonight I saw a music vid that gobsmacked me.
Yes, this is the new clip for the re-formed New Kids On The Block (NKOTB during their *tough phase*).

Somethings came to mind while I watched this.
1. It is equally amusing and horrifying to watch guys in their mid-to-late thirties doing boy band moves in boy band outfits - see the clip for Backstreet Boys' I Want It That Way and compare!
2. It is not amusing to see them with girls in bikinis who could be their daughters (the youngest Kid, Joe, is 35. I'm assuming the girls are 18).
3. I thought Jonathan Knight has quit showbiz. He sure looks awkward in the clip.
4. Euw, I don't care how *buff and rough* you might be now with your muscles and tattoos, KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, DANNY!!!
5. That also applies to you, Joe
6. Oh hell, it applies to you all!
7. Lay off the botox, Jordan! Your face doesn't move properly!
8. The song is nothing special. I would rate Jesse McCartney's Leavin' over it.

I also see that Jason Mraz's I'm Yours is being released after how many years?

I still love it and I'll still date or marry any guy (err...within reason) who can sing this while holding a bunch of roses.
Is it wrong to stay I still prefer this version of the clip though?

Midweek drinks and how alcohol no longer makes me speak French

Well, despite it being a Tuesday, Dancinghula and Kt decided to go out to drinks to celebrate the return of one of their friends from overseas and catch up with Vinh. I decided to bring along my new French teacher, Gnoudesavanes (self-requested pseudonym, don't ask me to explain it) for the funs, to practice, and to show him the multi-drinking world that his this city. Well we had a lot of fun out drinking mulled wine and then some on the Rooftop bar followed by dinner in Chinatown where I came to a conclusion.

You know, there was a time when I used to think I could speak French relatively well. I mean, not perfectly fluently but passable enough that you could probably drop me in France and I'd be cool with it. Alcohol is also something I affectionately associate with my various times in Paris and there was period where drinking would make me speak French. It is apparent that those times have passed.

Je suis une traductrice merdique. Poor Gnoudesavanes (who speaks better English than I speak French) sat there while Vinh talked about squirting and....er...cats., things that I could in no way translate!!! And even when the conversation moved to more sedate conversation, I still couldn't explain whatever everyone wanted me to say into either French or English. *sob sob*.

But it's okay. Gnoudesavanes will be here until Oct, and I have until 2010 to perfect everything. It's achievable. But maybe with less alcohol.

Movie review - El Orfanato/The Orphanage

Alright people. It is with a measure of disgust in myself that I will admit to not (yet) having watched Pan's Labyrinth. I don't know why I haven't - obviously if I had, it would have been reviewed here. But anyway, here's a Spanish horror movie I managed to watch!

Laura (Belen Rueda) returns to a long-abandoned orphanage on the Spanish coast, where she lived until the age of approximately 7, with her husband Carlos and their young son Simon, aiming to re-open it as a home for sick and disabled children (as it pretty much what it was like when she was there). One day after she takes Simon to the beach, he claims to have made a new friend, Tomas, which Carlos and Laura shrug off as Simon has always had invisible friends. Simon then reveals five new *invisible friends* and things start getting spooky-dooky.

So what makes a good scary movie? If you're a Hollywood producer, I would assume the answer to be kill and mutilate people in as many disgusting ways as you can. If you're from Europe, I think it's take a large house, make some noises, turn down the lights, and wait for the tension to mount. And does it ever mount - there was a point when Rachie and I started poking each other to disperse the tension! Pretty much all the horror is implied rather than gory, with the exception of once scene after an accident. The combination of plot, acting, lighting, sound and photography make the film look great and are the main factors in creating the spooky mood. The acting from Rueda is what particularly holds the film together as you follow Laura through the gamut of emotions to mental disintegration.

However, this movie may have been a little too good for it's own right. I define a *good* movie as something that keeps you talking afterwards, and while Rachie and I continued talking, with further analysis El Orfanato started falling apart with regards to the sequence and plausibility of various events. Implicit in the relationship between audience and horror movie is the willingness to accept the implausible, but since a great deal of this film's spookiness derives from the *real* aspect of the situation, the breaks cause me to feel a bit ripped.

Still, I recognise that this is a pretty damn good film. So giving it an initial 8/10 minus points for when you realise there are holes as large as cities in there, I'm still giving it a solid recommendation and pass.
7/10

On reviewing and reviews

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone who reads this blog although I could probably list the names of you all without having to take off my shoes. Secondly, I really do enjoy the feedback I get here, particularly regarding the movie reviews. I'm opinionated enough to enjoy giving them and then arguing with people about why I am right or wrong.

Having said that, it has been brought to my attention that
a) I only seem to watch a particular genre of movies;
b) I am willing to excuse stupidity and regard it as a plus; and
c) I am therefore too lenient or not reviewing with an unbiased mind.

The main examples given to me were Indy 4 and 300.

People, I throw this out to the open. Do you believe this is so? Is it wrong for me to reward a filmmaker's recognition that their own work is dross? This is a blog with comments allowed and I'm happy to hear it all!

In other news, the review for El Orfanato/The Orphanage coming soon!

Even more food

It's been a shocker of a busy week :( Probably because I've been out eating/partying so much! So French-ish dinner on Sunday was followed up by French dinner on Tuesday...followed up by French dinner on Wednesday. Lydia decided that since it was Bastille Day on Monday, we should go to Aux Batifolles for dinner on Wednesday - our logic was that it would be easier to get a table on Wed. So we two, Laulita, Veruschka, Mischka, Punz, and The Pom (aka The Token Male) popped on down.

Since I've already written about food twice this week, I've recruited a guest reviewer du jour - Mischka.

I am advised by google that Aux Batifolles could mean ,“To Frolic”. This tentative translation provides some clues as to the experience to be had at this charming establishment. On a dark, wearisome Melbourne winter night, there is nothing half so welcoming as a warmly lit, earthy looking French Bistro which is not pokey at all, but not too “modded up”. (I think I’m trying to say that the atmosphere was “just right”).

It was a quiet night, so we got very good service from a properly attired French man who was happy to have people practise their French on him. (French language that is). Another happy finding was the bathroom which whilst rather pokey, more than made up for it in being rather like a sauna-always a nice sensation when you have to walk outside into the requisite French smoking area to visit the Ladies.

Get to the food I hear you say. Okay. No complaints on any level from my end, nor did I hear a whisper of dissatisfaction from the dining attendees. Everything arrived on time, perfect service and table set-up excellent. I had a seafood crepe for entrée (YUMMMMMMMY) and a beef Bourgignon for the main event (SCRUMMMMYYY). Astonishly, I did not make it to dessert-quite the rarity. So, I hope this gives you some indication of the portions (generous for French). My companions had (from what I can remember): pork with black lentils, a chicken and lobster pie, Canard pate, duck confit (I would like to go back and try it to compare to the Parisian duck confit).

Desserts looks brilliant, and more importantly, the generous portions were still with us at this stage. Most people had the apple tart (it looked REALLY, REALLY GOOD), but the crème brulee is well known among foodies (apparently)- it looked great.

One last thing, from a brief scan of comments on the information super highway (aka, the internet) I came across a comment like this, “Yeh good stuff, but nothing out there”. That’s right, this place does some French classics (and a few more). No place can be everything at once. What you know you will get is some lovely, reasonably priced French food. Even more importantly, this unfolds in a snob-free, warm and welcoming environment. This is not always the case for French restaurants. Since it aims to be a Bistro style restaurant, it more than succeeds in being one; it serves simple, French food at an affordable price. By it’s very nature, it is not a place for people who want something “whizz-bang” to brag about the next week. It doesn’t even pretend to want to do such a thing anyway. And do you know what? I like it just the way it is. (I would just like to see more actual frolicking next time).

Thank you very much for your review Mischka! Recommended for all!

More food!

This is turning into a real foodie week. Dr. Nance decided one going away dinner wasn't enough so we had a going-away karaoke party where we discovered that 80s/90s power ballads can be belted out with a lot more power if you're standing up, and ANOTHER going away dinner :D.

Anyway, dinner was at the old staple fave, Paris Go. Not as fancy as Rockpool. Not as expensive as Rockpool. But just as enjoyable!

Unforch, I did not take photos of our entrees or mains but I had the veal and I do believe I said "Can't talk, eating" at least once. Maybe twice. What I did do was take photos of our cute little desserts so here they are!

My dark chocolate creme brulee. It tasted like mousse but that's not a complaint!

Nance's Tarte Tatin. Requires 20 minutes notice.

Omar's ice cream filled profiteroles.

Dave's ice cream and sorbet tower.

Clint's oeufs a la neige. Mmmmm, cream & meringuey

Needles to say, a good time and filled belly was had by all. Gonna miss you Nance, my eating, singing and cosmetics buddy! *sniff*

Rockin' the Pool

Well to wave goodbye to Dr. Nance, she decided we were going to eat out and eat well! So she naturally selected the restaurant that was rated Melbourne's best in the 2007 Good Food Guide. Naturally.

Since we had a large group, we were given what was essentially a private room, decked out in large table, large leather chairs (with arm rests) and mood lighting. A few people commented that it was like a boardroom.



So here are some snaps and dishes for the night

With Dr. Nance

Drinking. Always drinking

Entree of sashimi

Baby octopus and polenta

My main - Duck confit and grilled pear

The $10 side of mac & cheese - worth every dollar!!!

Rachie's Seared Tuna

Salad of grilled vegies and goat's cheese

My dessert of passionfruit pavlova. Num nums!!!

We got Nance some Marc Jacobs shoes for her going away pressie. SEXY!!!

So do I rate Rockpool? Oooh yeah! At approx $100/head (due to the 10% Sunday surchage) I fully believe it was a better experience than Nobu. But don't get the onion rings - they're a heart attack waiting to happen.

Sorry for the lack of updates

Until Sunday night, I hadn't done anything exciting, nor has there been anything that's wound me up enough to rant about it. I suppose it's a good thing that I not get wound up as much as I used to, right?

Speaking of people getting wound up, last night was at dinner with Kenny, or as his blogger profile calls him, *Ladiesman_217*, and we had a conversation about my Transformers review. He was displeased that I only gave it 8/10 and has posted his review rebuttal for all to see. Enjoy that here.

Otherwise, I will hopefully be writing up what I ate at Rockpool and how I found it. Coming soon!

For once, photoshop is not my enemy!

It's helping me clean some things up although I don't think it will ever be clean enough to actually use. *Boo hoo*

I need more clothes

Not that it ever gets that cold here but I realised with today's cold snap that the majority of my clothes money for the last few years has been spent on shoes, stockings, and summer dresses. Usually from Europe. While I don't have a problem with that (and who could blame me?!) when the wind blew today, the section of my legs not covered by the orange duffle coat were very very cold. Of course, I could always hit the clothes that Pooey left here (hai Pooey!) I have a distinct feeling she took all the trousers in warmer fabrics with her.

This brings me to one conclusion.

Time to hit the shops!!!

Fandango!

Following my theme of Spanish love, I'd just like to make a comment about Fandango, a cafe conveniently walking distance from uni. Okay, the cafe itself has nothing to do with Spain other than the name, but I needed an introducing line.

It all started when Misha suggested we go to Tom Phat for breakfast. The idea of *asian fusion breakfast* freaked out a few of the less adventurous members of the lab but the idea of Lab Breakfast had taken root, especially since Erica would be out of town for the fortnight. The Pom had mentioned to various members of the lab the awesomeness that is Fandango breakfasts. So we all (well, just me) made the supreme effort to get to uni before 9am on thursday so we could over and chow down. So on a very cold day, we ended up seated out the back drinking our hot teas and coffees while sitting next to a gas patio heater.

Here are some pics ripped from Misha:

This is what I ate - the Pesto eggs

Digging in!

The other Lab Gals (+Abrez) also dig in!

Here's what Misha ate (french toast) and what I kinda wanted to eat

Anyway, to follow up eating there on Thursday, I ate there again on Saturday with Suling! I still didn't have the French toast - I had the pancakes instead but there are no photos this time. Anyway, I recommend it. But not too much (otherwise there won't be any room for us!)

Movie review - Kung Fu Panda

Po the Panda (voice of Jack Black) is the lazy son of the noodle maker (who is a goose. Hmmm....) but he secretly dreams of becoming an AWESOME kung fu master. One day, Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) is told by Master Oogway the Turtle of his premonition that Tai Lung the Snow Leopard, Shifu's nemesis, will break out of prison. As such, Oogway will pick the Dragon Warrior from one of the five of the local kung fu champs trained by Shifu: Tiger , Crane, Monkey, Snake or Mantis. So imagine everyone's surprise and dismay when Oogway picks Panda! Eventually Shifu manages to overcome his prejudices against Po and trains him to be the ultimate Dragon Warrior!

You know, I LOVE it when a movie proves me wrong. And when I first heard about this movie, I thought it was going to be a shocker. But then I saw the promos and thought, oh maybe it won't be so bad. And then I saw the US reviews and thought *hmm, maybe I'll go see this*. And once I saw it, I thought *I love this movie!!!* Here's why.

First of all, it's fun. This is a straight forward, not particularly groundbreaking story about a Panda's ascent to kung fu mastery, but it's a very funny straight forward story of a Panda's ascent to mastery! The jokes are as simple as Tiger accusing Po of not taking is position seriously, followed by him pulling a stupid face, followed by him falling down and we see him completely covered in acupuncture needles - excellent visual jokes here. In addition, a lot of CGI movies are aimed at the dual adult and child markets. This often means that the script and animation are loaded with pop culture references. While that's not often a bad thing, it can lead to overload or acts as a mask to hide a poor story *cough Shrek3 cough cough*. there are plenty of references that movie buffs should pick out; I managed to find The Matrix, Crouching Tiger, Jackie Chan movies (he's the voice of Monkey), and Ninja Scroll amongst others. Essentially, this movie is not overloaded with things to disrupt or distract from the plot and quite frankly, that's a good thing.

The Ninja Scroll ref comes at the beginning of the film when you see the lone panda in his conical hat emerging from the mist which is done in 2D style which brings me to animation. While I was not as hypnotised by the visuals as I was in Horton, it is downright beautiful. The China we get is the classic China seen in Song Dynasty scroll painting.
Very pretty. And the rendering of the characters! Po is so round and cuddly. The animation is also very good at replicating (what looks to me like) real kung fu moves! There's a kung fu fight between Po and Shifu over some char siu baos/xiao long b that reminded me a lot of my youth that looked very authentic. I was very pleased to see that the film actually had fight choreographers. Nice!

Anyway, I really do believe that there is something in this movie that would please everyone. Even for the most cynical people out there, it only goes for 92 minutes so if you hate it, it'll end soon. Go watch!
(Pictures from rottentomatoes.com)
8-8.5/10

Movie review - Sex and the City

Woooh!!!! Took a while for me to see this one! Would you believe, I actually wasn't a HUGE fan of the show. I mean, sure, I enjoyed it but I didn't watch it religiously. Hell, even though I bought the entire series, I still haven't watched it all! Regardless, I watched it enough to know who was whom and what was going on. Long story short, this movie takes place ten years after the start and four years after the end of the tv show. I won't bother to talk about what the movie is about - I'm taking it as given that only fans (and their male-handbags) would go watch it. I remember one criticism of the way the show ended was the apparent message that despite these women being successful, attractive (although that's debatable), single go-getters, a woman needed to have a man in order to be *complete* as all the characters were paired up. I'm glad that this movie addresses that issue and, to me, the storyline for each character rang true to who each of them were.

So this will be a pro and con review.
Pro

• Great shoes and interesting clothes (I won't say all of the clothes are great).
• The lighting and makeup - I know that in real life, Sarah Jessica Parker is freakishly thin and not the most classically attractive of women. However, at various points in the film I did think *she's quite good looking there.
• Dante getting out of a wetsuit.
• That REALLY big wardrobe.
• Miranda's storyline and Cynthia Nixon's performance. Definitely the most difficult and most underrated.
• Samantha's development as more than just a horny woman.
• The warm and gooeyness that are female friendships without bitchiness!
• The fact that the movie is just like another episode!

Con

• Reminding me how self-centred Carrie can be although her moping in this film is justified given the way Big has jerked her around for the last 10 years.
• Charlotte being played for laughs - while I'm glad that her romanticism and idealism remains undiminished, they really turned her into an object of ridicule - e.g. Mexico, searching for the *perfect opening line, the tottering around after confronting Big etc etc.
• Jason Lewis' weird looking face.
• The fake boobs on Dante's girl #3.
• I also didn't need to see *that* shot in order to be convinced of how/why Dante is attractive to Samantha. Overkill!
• Miranda nude.
• The fact that the movie us just like another episode. A really long episode.

Looking at this film from the perspective of a non-fan, I would be close to saying this would be like watching the Harry Potter movies without reading the books. If you don't know who everyone is and what happened to them during the series, you may be left scratching your head. There is a short rundown at the start of the film that covers the four main characters and their respective partners, but doesn't cover the recurring characters who are naturally there.

So yes. Not a perfect film, not an overly terrible film. While I'll stop short of saying *for fans only* I will say that it will help greatly if you are.
7-8/10 for fans, 4-5/10 for everyone else.

Me + cosmetic surgery = alien

There have been times when I've been asked by people if I'd ever consider having cosmetic surgery. (I don't know why people ask me this - are they telling me I need it?!) Anyway, my answer has generally been a flat *no*. I believe your face helps people form part of their identity and the idea of waking up one day and not looking like myself would be weird. Hell, it's happened at times whenever I've lost weight! Maybe I'll feel differently about this when I'm older and my face changes again but I'm not displeased by my features and judging from my mum and various other relatives, I believe me and Pooey will age gracefully.

But for those who are kinda curious and not that great at Photoshop, there is now LiftMagic a site that allows you to have a peep at what you'd look like with surgery. I think it works best if you're looking at the camera with a straight face (without all the muscle distortions and all) but even then, every time I've put a photo in, I come out looking like an alien!!! Okay, it's probably not helped by me setting it to *suggested max* but if I needed another reason not to have my face cut, this is it!

The little text at the bottom is a description of the *surgery* done. I'm somewhat amused by the recommendation that both of them put in a weight reduction of 33%. WHATEVER!!!

Hours of fun and yet another reason showing why cosmetic surgery is not the answer for body dysmorphia.